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Update August 2015

Well I hit some mental roadblocks with my writing, so I am not heading towards the fundraiser just yet.

In the meantime I noticed a couple of things.  Wikipedia needs some help.  Someone needs to put accurate citable info on Tae Yun Kim’s page.  I did my best being objective, but the page needs some work.

Lighthouse has now found it’s way in between the Tesla factory, and the new facility Tesla Motors they picked up from Seagate, the former Solyndra facility. This will be a hot bed of recruiting for the group.  It will be interesting to see how that plays out… The hot market that Fremont was in the 90’s for up and coming people with money is back…

I would never want to see more people hurt mentally or fiscally like former members have.

Other’s experiences

http://www.treelight.com/essays/magical_moments.html#pageToc44

Eric, who was a member of COL and Jung SuWon has published his own take on the experience.  His life, a little different than mine has left him down a bit of a meandering path, during which he has appeared to look fondly upon negative and positive experiences.  His experiences are certainly worth a read.

One of the highlights was an interaction in which he noted an interest from a female member of the group and was subsequently subjected to suspension in the group, which lead to a period of homelessness.

Worth a read, and credit to Eric for opening up about his experiences.

Anniversaries

Second: This blog is now two years old.

I wish I had to post more, but I just don’t.  My children are older, my time is more valuable spent doing other things, also I travel a lot more for work, which just eats up your time in so many inexplicable ways.  This blog is cathartic, but in the end hopefully by book will get it’s act together and everyone can read that.

Ninth: The original thread on Bullshido was started by me in 2005

This was the most important thing I have done to help people survive COL.  It opened up a forum for the first time.  It took a couple of years to really get going, but I knew it was important the day I posted that thread. I think it has helped many, me included move on and continue the healing process of living in Tae Yun Kim’s dangerous cult.

Tenth: The original post I made on e-budo was ten years ago this summer.  

This was mostly unsuccessful; As well I received loose threats which were relayed by my mother from people still on the inside, that they’d come after me…  Luckily I found friends later in the free-for-all that is Bullshido.

Eleventh: Eleven years since my mother successfully left COL.

March 27, 2003 was her second attempt… Her first was in late 2002.  She was out once and for all once she left this time.  

Fifteenth: My anniversary of officially leaving COL passed in February.

It may have been fifteen years, but this is still one of the most memorable experiences, for better or worse, of my life time. A cult will affect you forever and make you who you are.  We can’t avoid who we become due to experiences, but we can do our best moving on and forward with our lives.

Trying to see the light

Trying to get my mom to “see the light” again was no easy task. She left in late 2002, we are now in late February 2003. About 30 days before she left at this point. She had just gone through her fasting, and deprivation program, had most likely just recently received her first paycheck since being back She wouldn’t talk to me on the phone about any of this, she just wouldn’t have it. My mom also believed that everything, her computer, phone, car, everything was bugged.

This is a series of Instant Messages over a 20 minute or so period. Everything is presented (sic) with spelling errors and all.

After I got over my anger about what happened, my mother leaving COL and Tae Yun Kim, and then going back, and the way she acted towards me.. I found resolve and put my focus on getting my mom out.

I knew I had to be honest and clear about my feelings with my mom. I knew that if I could bring back the feelings she had before she left the first time that she would again “see the light” and find her way out.

Mom: just wanted to thank you for coming up…it was great to see you
and it was great to be able to hold your son and spend time with him
Me: im glad u were able to
Mom: of course
Mom: Jacob, I’m feeling as though you’re purposely putting a barrier
between us…is there something wrong?
Me: Well, I’ll be honest, I don’t really want COL to be any
part of his life
Me: hello?
Mom: why is that?
Me: You kinow my opinions
Mom: it hurts…that’s all…basically you’re saying that you don’t
approve of my friends or my life and you don’t want him a part of
that…is that true?
Me: Ualready know I didn’t.  Remember I tried to help you get
the hell out of there, but u didn’t like the outside world
Me: Yes that is true
Me: Correction
Me: not your friends
Me: its Grandmaster
Me: don’t trusr
Mom: ok, thank you…I love you, Bye…Mom
Me: OK?  SO why are you saying bye? i thought this was a
discussion
Me: my thoughts on this topic should be no suprise.
Mom: it hurts, and I’m crying alot…I’m sorry, I love
you…goodnight
Me: AS you shared a good ammount of them before grandmaster
changed your mind for you right before you moved here
Me: ok.
Me: night
Mom: Grandmaster never changed my mind….I didn’t belong living with
you…I changed my own mind…and Grandmaster allowed me to come
back…you’ve totally misunderstood
Mom: And I’m really sorry…I love you very much…and as I said when
I left I still very much intended to be a part of your life and your son’s
too
Mom: it really, really hurts
Me:
Yes I intend YOU to be as well
Me: I want you to be
Mom: but you’re setting limitations and I personally don’t think
that’s fair…but of course you have every right to do whatever you
want with your son.
Mom: I’m leaving the office now, so I’ll talk to you some other
time…I’m hurting right now…and probably shouldn’t talk anymore.
Me: I’m not.
Me: (setting limits)
Mom: I Love you…I love you all
Me: us too… i love you mom… talk to you later.
Mom: yes…you’re saying that you don’t want him to be near anyone in
COL and especially Grandmaster…well that is my life and I’m
sorry…I’ve chosen that
Me: Ok, well I’m sorry you did.
Me: u know my thoughts and opinions about grandmaster.  she
is not someone I want having anything to do with my son
Mom: no one convinced me…I told you that before I even came down to
you…but when I was with you I really, really realized I wanted to
help you, but I definitely couldn’t live with you….I didn’t belong
in your life in that way.  My life is here

PTSD

One thing I often shy away from is talking about the mental effects of Tae Yun Kim’s cult. It’s been almost 13 years since I’ve seen the lady. Yet I still have the side effects of our effed up relationship floating around in me.  Before I started blogging I would go weeks at a time where I didn’t think about my experiences in COL. It isn’t as though the effects of being in the cult weren’t present though.

There was always an unsaid presence between my mother and I. (sometimes it was even verbal) That if I spoke negatively about Kim to her, that my mother would have no choice but to disown me. The 4 years that I was out, that preceded my mother leaving were very hard.

Being that my mother had to report in to Kim what she was up to, something always seemed to come up when we were hanging out. How dare my mother spend more than an hour with me on my birthday.

I actually never really thought negatively about Kimmie it started to become apparent the things that were happening behind my back:

  • The COL kids (who were 16 and 18 respectively) were told when I was 16 that I lost my virginity and was going down a negative path.
  • That my child was going to be a negative energy center, implications, maybe even directly saying that he was evil, to my mother and other COL members.
  • Kimmie scolding my mother, in front on my grandmother..
  • My mother was told how to handle me and my energy at our wedding; She was told to wear a hot pink dress to our wedding… Upstaging the bride, which we all know is a big no-no at weddings.
  • I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my best friend or his sister. It was considered negative… It just wasn’t allowed.

These things were the last straw in me.  I had never really talked to anyone about Kim; Let alone negatively.

It wasn’t fair that despite trying to have a positive relationship with my mother that she was being steered to not. I started collecting my own opinion about Kimmie.  I did my own research. I knew who this woman was…  So I started planting seeds with my mom.

I realized that if I always made her happy, and never expressed my discontent with Kimmie that she wouldn’t ever get out.

When we went into COL only one person spoke up; My father. He even went to my grandparents, his ex-in-laws, and pleaded with them. My dad and his friend Dan were the only ones who spoke up. They told me what they thought, and it sat with me. My grandparents? They did like every successful cultmember’s parent do and sat by and watched… judged… had an opinion, but didn’t share it.

I guess what I am getting at here, as a message to the masses:

DON’T SIT BY WHILE YOUR CHILDREN, LOVED ONES, OR WHOEVER THEY ARE GET ABUSED. IF YOU THINK THEY ARE GETTING INVOLVED IN SOMETHING, SPEAK UP! TOO MANY KIDS AND FAMILIES ARE SUBJECTED TO THIS, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO ROCK THE BOAT. YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING! SPEAK UP! GROW A PAIR!

If this is all you glean from reading my blog, I feel successful in this venture. I sit here with PTSD from the events that happened in the cult, and that followed up, especially getting my mom out.  I am forever broken. However that doesn’t mean I can’t get better, and this is part of that healing process. Making sure the word about this woman, who destroys families, to this day… to this MINUTE, is out there… That way when people join COL, or even Jung SuWon, they know who this person really is, underneath all of that makeup and plastic surgery.

The one thing everyone leaves COL with is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder… PTSD

Politics in your pocket

My mother was given money and asked to give it to Mike Honda for Congress in 2001 by Tae Yun Kim and her associates. Apparently a lot of other people to.  This helped circumvent federal election laws. These are people who make close to nothing. But somehow they have $500-$1000 each to support Mike Honda. My mom has bank evidence to prove this. In the past she has supported Milpitas Mayor and Santa Clara County Supervisor Pete McHugh, having them as guests of honor during testings and other events. Here is what I have found thus far towards Mike Honda’s campaign.

I am not saying that all of these people had the same experience my mother did, only that it is likely. These people were all associated with Jung SuWon/COL at the time of their donation.

TAE YUN KIM
chairman & ceo
lighthouse worldwide services
Q2-2011
$1,000 donation to mike honda for congress
TAE YUN KIM
chairman/ceo
lighthouse worldwide services
Q1-2011
$500 donation to mike honda for congress
TAE YUN KIM
chairman/ceo
lighthouse worldwide services
Q1-2010
$1,800 donation to mike honda for congress
TAE YUN KIM
chairman/ceo
lighthouse worldwide services
Q1-2010
$600 donation to mike honda for congress
TAE YUN KIM
chairman/ceo
lighthouse worldwide services
Q2-2009
$1,800 donation to mike honda for congress
PAUL NEWMAN
executive director of sales
lighthouse worldwide solutions
Q2-2010
$1,500 donation to mike honda for congress
SCOTT SALTON
president
lighthouse worldwide solutions
Q2-2010
$1,400 donation to mike honda for congress
SCOTT SALTON
manager
lighthouse worldwide solutions
Q1-2010
$1,000 donation to mike honda for congress
ERIKA SOMMERS
executive assistant
lighthouse worldwide solutions
Q2-2010
$1,000 donation to mike honda for congress
THOMAS SAUNDERS
senior vp
lighthouse worldwide solutions
Q2-2010
$1,000 donation to mike honda for congress
ROCCO POCHY
vice president
lighthouse worldwide solutions
Q2-2010
$500 donation to mike honda for congress

Adam Giandomenico (Morning Planet/President), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Mark Amador (Can Do Spirit Inc./Manager), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Michael Fell (Jung Su Won/President), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Sarah Kim (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/CRM), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Juliana ONeil (Can Do Spirit Inc./Product Manager), (Zip code: 95035) $700 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Rocco Pochy (LWS/Engineer), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Thomas Saunders (Angel Healing/Executive), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Erika Sommers (Executive Producer), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Kristina Williams (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/Manag), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Sean Birch (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/Vice), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Kevin Michael Campbell (Lighthouse Worldwide Solutions/Dire), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Candice Carrington (Apple Tours/Travel Agent), (Zip code: 95035) $550 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Holly Chamberlain (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/Engin), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Morgan W. Polen (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/Busin), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 01/18/02

Gregory Dumas (None/Retired), (Zip code: 95035) $450 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Karen Heart (Lighthouse Worldwide Solutions/Sale), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Joy Henderson (Melrose Nameplate/Supervisor), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Paul Newman (Morning Planet/Sales), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Manju Raj (Spike Technologies/Engineer), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Michael Thomas (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/Engin), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Joseph Weinstein (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/VP), (Zip code: 95035) $750 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Hope Winter (Lighthouse Worldwide Solutions/Acco), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Cheryl Woo (Northstar LLC/Operations Director), (Zip code: 95035) $500 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 12/28/01

Clark Anderson (Lighthouse Worldwide Services/Engin), (Zip code: 95035) $1000 to MIKE HONDA FOR CONGRESS on 02/04/02

There were a lot of  duplicates, which i tried to remove, but in some cases they were different amounts, so i left those in.
All of this information was obtained from :

http://fundrace.huffingtonpost.com/neighbors.php?type=emp_or_occ&emp=Lighthouse+Worldwide+Solutions

http://fundrace.huffingtonpost.com/neighbors.php?type=name_address&lat=37.4832820000&oldest=1&lng=-121.9423270000&lname=Kim&fname=Tae+Yun

http://www.city-data.com/elec2/elec-MILPITAS-CA.html

Interesting!

So this weekend I got a message on facebook from a current COL member. There is a lot of harsh stuff going on there in the last year. I feel for them, and looks like COL should be getting a little smaller here in the near future?

I was lining up some posts for this week, and had to uncover so old feelings I had about a particular COL instructor named Mark Amador. Just wanted to give him a big F YOU!  You’re a fing ahole… I hope you realize you are one of the worst people on earth.. I don’t hate Tae Yun Kim, but I do hate you! Go f yourself!  🙂

Anyway, we have some good stuff coming out this week. I won’t be publishing this note from the member, but I have a lot of other good stuff! It’s going to be a fun week readers!

Eery similarities

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9040152/North-Korea-threatens-to-punish-mobile-phone-users-as-war-criminals.html

In this article they outline that the use of a cell phone in North Korea is to be considered a “war crime” during North Korea’s length period of mourning their late leader “Kim Jong il”

I am going to draw a comparison here. Everything I have read about North Korea, and their exclusionary laws makes me think of being in COL. I am curious when COL’s dear leader eventually passes, what will happen, perhaps something similar.

I helped my mother get out of COL in November 2002. Unfortunately she went back two weeks later, due to her having a significant session of conditioning (or brain washing) with Tae Yun Kim right before she left. She was set up to be suspicious of me. Depsite my mother not trusting Kim at all she ended up back in there.

Once she got back she was on a “special program” which basically consisted of her eating very little if anything at all, in complete seclusion for around one month.  The one exception to this was being allowed to come to her family christmas, where she was not allowed to touch or hug anyone.

You might ask “why would a full grown adult listen to this”…  Because of the influence Kim had ground in to my mother.

We eventually got her out once and for all in late march 2003. More on this later.

Sham Marriage Trial Article

Thank you to the former cultmaster.com for this article

Court Hears Testimony In “Sham Marriage” Trial

By William H. Braun, Free Press Staff Writer
Burlington Free Press, March 24, 1982

The government contends Mary Simon married Sok Bong Chung for money alone.  So does Miss Simon.

Defense lawyers for Chung and Kyong-Ae Fontaine say the marriage may have been for money, but it was also for something akin to love – or at least an attempt by two people to combat loneliness.

A federal court jury will have to decide whether the Feb. 23, 1979 marriage was real or simply a sham to make Chung, a Korean, eligible for resident alien status in the United States.Chung, 44, and Mrs. Fontaine, 36 and the alleged matchmaker, face three charges each.  Chung is accused of making false statements to immigration inspectors March 29 and May 23, 1979.  Mrs. Fontaine is charged with aiding and abetting Chung in making those statements, and both are charged with conspiracy.

Miss Simon, now 22 and a Colchester resident, was the government’s leadoff witness as the trial began Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Burlington.

She said when Mrs. Fontaine’s brother picked her up in January 1979 to take her and Chung to a doctors office for premarital blood tests, “It was the first time in my life I ever laid eyes on the man”.

William Sessions, Chung’s attorney, said the defense intends to present witnesses who will testify that the marriage apparently was consummated, that Miss Simon did live with Chung for about a week before leaving “for whatever reasons”, and that she made repeated visits to Chung in the months following the marriage.

Peter Cleveland, Mrs. Fontaine’s attorney, said he will present witnesses who will testify to the character and truthfulness of Mrs. Fontaine, the operator of the Kyong-Ae Academy of Tae Kwon Do karate school and the former Fred Astaire dance school on College Street in Burlington.

Miss Simon was 19, unemployed and broke in the late fall of 1978.  “To combat boredom”, she said, she went to the Fred Astaire dance studio a number of times because the couple with whom she and her boyfriend were living were working there as instructors.

During one visit “Miss Kim”, as Mrs. Fontaine was known, called Miss Simon into the office and asked if Miss Simon knew anyone who wanted to make a quick $1,000, according to Miss Simon.

The young woman said Mrs. Fontaine explained that she had a friend who needed to marry an American girl so he could stay in this country.  All that would be required would be to go through the ceremony, she testified.  A divorce would be obtained and paid for by the man in six months to a year, Miss Simon said.

The knot: I was here, where were you? File under: creepy

One of the stranger things that happened to me was this.  I was dead asleep.  I wake up with a bracelet.  As does half of COL.  Kim went sneaking around in our rooms while we slept.  Mind you, we didn’t live in the same house as her.  Apparently, even though I had my seventh grade classes to attend to the next day, I was supposed to wake up and be aware.

So a good portion of COL didn’t wake up, which we had a COL “Class” about.

This gets into definitions.  COL Class essentially means that we sat in the racket ball court in Kim’s home, which acted as a meeting room, usually eating dinner with our other COL members. We would then start chants.  These were a variety of conditioning songs.  One called “Jung Shing tong il”, what it meant is beyond me at this point in my memory.  Another one was famously featured in the Inside Edition videos, this was called the COL Song.  We’ll get to that later. So after singing for usually 20-45 minutes (usually the shorter we waited usually the more trouble we were in) the “instructors”(Kim’s most senior instructors from Jung SuWon, that live in her home) would show up.  

This class was relatively lighthearted.  However, we left with the lesson that perhaps we should sleep lighter and increase our “awareness”.  Many of us who were given bracelets wore them almost like badges of pride for a while. I kept mine… Kinda weird looking back on it.  In order to see this picture you’re going to have to click it.
"I was here, where were you?" letter dated 10/5/95

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