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Family

I think I have on this once before in the post PTSD.  I believe it important to circle back to this point as it is often missed by members of family of future and current cult members.

I was twelve years old when we were courted by Kim’s group. My father was the only one who spoke up when we presented the idea of moving into the cult.  Because it was a decision I was in support of I did cover up to some extent the reality of it to my father.  All of this is subconscious and as a cult member you are not aware of the guarding.

My grandparents were brought into the fold by my father, and their apathy ended up being perceived as support by my mother.  This put the nail in the proverbial coffin for us moving in.  

My point is this, do not sit idly by while your relationship with your family member slips away.  Life is only so long, and losing them to a cult is a reality and not overstatement. Any kind of intervention would have prevented this.  My dad did his best effort with me and leveraged who he could… Unfortunately those he leveraged didn’t step up in the same way.

Different strokes for different folks…

Finally a post not related to Tae Yun Kim’s cult.

My friend who lives in San Francisco, lets call her Pam; Met a new guy at a bar last week; everything is going great; he is a lawyer; successful, etc.

Well Pam noticed new guy never says where he lives, he’s very closed. He lives in a house with other people ( little bit strange considering he is a successful attorney) and he just seems a little bit more closed off than he should…

So Tuesday she gets invited over to the house for “game night”.. she’s prepared for scrabble and monopoly… little did she know what she was walking in to.  Game night was in fact a brainwashing session where she got bullied into admitting things that she didn’t even understand. Needless to say she is one smart free thinking cookie and got her ass out of there.

I don’t really want to link it, as I don’t want to give it anymore link ability than it already has.  Apparently deep in SF, in the saint francis wood lays what pam described as the “sex compound” of a group called “the welcomed consensus” … they focus on a “technique” of training the woman to have a DO which is their special speak for deliberate orgasm… ya…

So anyway, cults are apparently alive a well in northern California. Give it a Google or search on YouTube for some chuckles.

Why don’t people leave cults

I found an interesting website I wanted to share, with a big FAQ.

http://www.cults.co.nz/cultfaq/leave.php

Excerpt:

Why don’t people leave cults?

All the mind control techniques help to keep people in cults, sometimes being used together to form even stronger controls over members. Here’s how.

Deception

Cults teach their members that the real world is different to how it actually is, making it appear a place that members would not want to be part of.

Also, the cult member might not realise anything is wrong.

Exclusivism

Cults teach their members that only the cult offers salvation or the truth. Leaving the cult is the same as leaving God, and no relationship with God will ever be possible if they leave.

Fear, Guilt, Intimidation

The leadership knows all the wrongdoing of the members and the threat of having it all revealed – basically emotional blackmail – is used to scare the member into staying.

Information control

If a cult dictates what its members are allowed to read, and what they can listen to on radio and watch on TV, members will not know what the outside world is like. That can make it a very scary prospect stepping out from the cult. The cult may also present its members with a false view of the outside world, perhaps one in which everyone is so sinful that leaving members wouldn’t last a week before being killed or worse.

Alternatively, the cult member might be completely unaware that there is anything wrong with what they are taught or that life within the cult is unusual – it might be all they’ve ever known.

Love bombing, conditional love

After a honeymoon period where a new member (suddenly) has all the love they can cope with – known as love bombing – love is turned on and off to control. Members have their needs for love and acceptance met only when they are complying with the cult’s requirements. This is a strong disincentive to do anything wrong, such as think about leaving.

Relationship control and shunning

Cults try to control all the personal relationships of their members. Eventually (normally over a period of a few years) the member will not have any close friends outside of the cult. Often their entire family will also be in the cult. It takes a huge amount of courage to leave friends and family behind, since members who leave are shunned by the cult. Shunning is when present members are forbidden to talk to or associate with former members, even if they are their own family. Over the years a person spends within a cult, their business might become completely dependent on other cult members, possibly because the cult leadership has told them they are not allowed to have other customers. If they were to leave, both they and their business would be shunned – no more customers.

Reporting structure and thought stopping

If members know that they will be punished for saying or doing anything against the cult (especially if they think the punishment is somehow justified – for example if guilt is also used) they will be more and more reluctant to say or do anything that could possibly appear disloyal. They will eventually block out any anti-cult thoughts as they have them. This is known as “thought-stopping.” (It’s quite bizarre watching this happen, and very sad, too.)

Time control

Some cults deliberately keep their members so busy that they don’t have time to consider their involvement. The members are too busy (and possibly too tired) to figure out that the cult is bad. Some extreme cults also control food, which also prevents the member from thinking clearly.

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