Trying to see the light

Trying to get my mom to “see the light” again was no easy task. She left in late 2002, we are now in late February 2003. About 30 days before she left at this point. She had just gone through her fasting, and deprivation program, had most likely just recently received her first paycheck since being back She wouldn’t talk to me on the phone about any of this, she just wouldn’t have it. My mom also believed that everything, her computer, phone, car, everything was bugged.

This is a series of Instant Messages over a 20 minute or so period. Everything is presented (sic) with spelling errors and all.

After I got over my anger about what happened, my mother leaving COL and Tae Yun Kim, and then going back, and the way she acted towards me.. I found resolve and put my focus on getting my mom out.

I knew I had to be honest and clear about my feelings with my mom. I knew that if I could bring back the feelings she had before she left the first time that she would again “see the light” and find her way out.

Mom: just wanted to thank you for coming up…it was great to see you
and it was great to be able to hold your son and spend time with him
Me: im glad u were able to
Mom: of course
Mom: Jacob, I’m feeling as though you’re purposely putting a barrier
between us…is there something wrong?
Me: Well, I’ll be honest, I don’t really want COL to be any
part of his life
Me: hello?
Mom: why is that?
Me: You kinow my opinions
Mom: it hurts…that’s all…basically you’re saying that you don’t
approve of my friends or my life and you don’t want him a part of
that…is that true?
Me: Ualready know I didn’t.  Remember I tried to help you get
the hell out of there, but u didn’t like the outside world
Me: Yes that is true
Me: Correction
Me: not your friends
Me: its Grandmaster
Me: don’t trusr
Mom: ok, thank you…I love you, Bye…Mom
Me: OK?  SO why are you saying bye? i thought this was a
Me: my thoughts on this topic should be no suprise.
Mom: it hurts, and I’m crying alot…I’m sorry, I love
Me: AS you shared a good ammount of them before grandmaster
changed your mind for you right before you moved here
Me: ok.
Me: night
Mom: Grandmaster never changed my mind….I didn’t belong living with
you…I changed my own mind…and Grandmaster allowed me to come
back…you’ve totally misunderstood
Mom: And I’m really sorry…I love you very much…and as I said when
I left I still very much intended to be a part of your life and your son’s
Mom: it really, really hurts
Yes I intend YOU to be as well
Me: I want you to be
Mom: but you’re setting limitations and I personally don’t think
that’s fair…but of course you have every right to do whatever you
want with your son.
Mom: I’m leaving the office now, so I’ll talk to you some other
time…I’m hurting right now…and probably shouldn’t talk anymore.
Me: I’m not.
Me: (setting limits)
Mom: I Love you…I love you all
Me: us too… i love you mom… talk to you later.
Mom: yes…you’re saying that you don’t want him to be near anyone in
COL and especially Grandmaster…well that is my life and I’m
sorry…I’ve chosen that
Me: Ok, well I’m sorry you did.
Me: u know my thoughts and opinions about grandmaster.  she
is not someone I want having anything to do with my son
Mom: no one convinced me…I told you that before I even came down to
you…but when I was with you I really, really realized I wanted to
help you, but I definitely couldn’t live with you….I didn’t belong
in your life in that way.  My life is here


Posted on February 13, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I’m so sorry you were involved in her cult. I know she had some celebrity students including Jodie Foster but even Ms. Foster shied away from mentioning “Tae Yun Kim’s” name in a magazine interview.

    “Tae Yun Kim” is my cousin. She visited me back around 1995 with some of her students. I didn’t know at the time that she was a religious leader but I did find the almost worshipful attitude of her students eery. I did read her first two books.

    Her younger brother lives in southern California. He is divorced from his first wife and now has a second wife, a nice Korean lady. I hope she never has any kids with him because I remember him as violent and abusive. You see, we stayed at his home back when his mother was still alive for a few months when I was only 9 years old. He was a grown bully man. “Tae Yun Kim’s” dad was a violent alcoholic and a wife beater.

    That being said, I loved Tae Yun’s mom, my aunt. She was absolutely normal. She just happened to be married to the wrong man.

  2. Joomi Lee – I don’t doubt you loved your aunt – ?Bo Sung as I recall – but she was tainted by this association with Tae Yun. She ran a temple that we were all urged – strongly – to attend. I did for a short period of time, but her interpretation of the Buddha’s teachings was off, and I stopped going. After I quit, she would confront me as to why I did not go to the temple. There is a lot more to this but I just want to let you know there are two sides to the coin.

  3. Joomi Lee – You are absolutely right about Dae Jung being a violent person. I have seen him intimidate and strike students, for such minor infractions as “not bowing deeply enough” in his estimation. He would also have the class just sit for three hours at a time because they “did not line up quickly enough”. He pulled that in both the midday and evening classes one time, so it was just a power play on his part.

  4. BTW, Jodi was never a student.. just a photo op

  1. Pingback: Busy! « Cultmember: My days in a Bay Area cult

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