A current member of COL emailed me in 2007. I promised them I would never publicly share the email. However I wanted to comment on how it made me feel, and what I gleaned from it.
They emailed me because (I assume) there was a “COL Class” about the Bullshido thread. What was interesting in it was one thing, and this is the only thing I will share:
I do wish you the best though and I hope that if you are going through some down personal times, i hope it gets better.
It’s that you are conditioned by both Tae Yun Kim, and the “group-think” to feel bad for people on the outside of COL. I must have been going through something bad in my life, and therefore projecting it on to COL. In contrary to this thought, I usually become interested in this topic (the cult) and getting information about it out when I have a good balance going in life, and have things well managed.
Back to the point. Why cult members stay: Because they are conditioned to think everyone on the outside is suffering, even if presented with information to the contrary, they cannot be living a purposeful, fulfilled life if they are not with Tae Yun.
I recall my mother and I annually attending Christmas and Thanksgiving with my Grandparents, always just waiting for our pagers to go off. Visiting my grandparents and them being “outsiders” always made the Holidays awkward, thus we were just looking for an out. When our pagers sang in unison we couldn’t wait to leave! We alienated them with our obvious pager exit.
It’s depressing thinking back about the holidays and how we neglected our collective families love. Unfortunately we didn’t have a lot of say in our feelings at the time due to the conditioning and posturing that came with “Training” with Tae Yun Kim.