Why they stay

I have explored this for a long time. I was looking through my notes a couple of days ago, from when I was trying to get my mom out.  I was trying to find a linchpin holding the whole thing together for my mother.  I was trying to identify what the one thing I could do to help my mother feel like she would have a successful path out of the cult.

This is far easier said, than done.  A cult is just like an abusive relationship. There isn’t one thing that can be said to the victim to change their mind.

In late summer 1995 my dad had his form of an intervention with me.  But I was 12.  I think he thought of me as a much older, wiser person than I was at the time. He expected me to see through Kim’s BS, and be able to decide to not join.  My grandparents on the other hand, who he also contacted, didn’t want to rock the boat too hard.

My wife is in the middle of reading Jaycee Dugard’s book which I also tried reading.  It was a little too rough for me.  In the book however, Jaycee talks about how her captors became her family.  Obviously Jaycee situation wasn’t voluntary, but it demonstrates how in even the worst of situations we can find comfort in people holding us against our will.

The groups members despite their parasitic, tattle-tailing ways become their families, and Kim’s emotional carrots are enough to keep most of the women there.

It has been detailed elsewhere however that many of Tae Yun Kim’s male students have been in physical relationships with Kim.  At this point it isn’t like an abusive relationship, it literally IS an abusive relationship.

I’ll leave you with that for now.  Just looking for answers.

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Posted on January 19, 2012, in my experiences and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. It isn’t just the occasional praise (emotional carrots) that make people stay. It’s the grandiose dream of saving the world.

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