Just today I was looking at the picture of an instructor, which they captioned something about how excited they were to be working on the Jung SuWon testing videos and finishing them up. It gave me the perspective I had when I joined COL,  momentarily.

Let me throw out an idea here..  You like working out… Training in martial arts.. being healthy.. photography and video are fun?  Wanna play with computers?? we have those too.  It’s really a compelling scenario for many. Imagine your hobby becoming your job?  You don’t really have any marketable skills but you suddenly have a “nice title” at a computer company, with engineer attached to it.

It’s important for me to remember the reason we joined.  Kim reported to be a master of the “life force”.. Ki Energy! How awesome is that? She can teach you how to have control over yourself from the inside out… Fight human desire with self discipline…

Looking back with my 20/20 hindsight I see the dark lining to the concepts of COL…You really think with all of this Ki Energy mastery, that it will enhance your art and music. What instead you find is that you’re working 13 hours a day… You feel like your life has purpose because you are working in relative unison to “spread grandmaster’s light.”

I was in for three and a half years, and it took me another 3 of being out to ever say one negative thing about Kimmie and this cult.

The people who are in genuinely enjoy themselves. They believe they are working towards a higher purpose. Once events happen to cast doubt, or frustration.. Things can change. I have been trying to pinpoint what it was for me. I was 15 and often feel that my adolescent hormonal desires led me out.. But there was a lot of things. The abuse that I witnessed; My traveling to a foreign country and gaining a perspective about my COL world; another boy being publicly berated over the possibility that he was not a heterosexual; every COL member being publicly berated over masturbation in COL class.

I look at events that happened and recognize small turning points in how I felt about Kim.

One interesting one was one time I stayed at my dad’s for the weekend. He worked cash jobs and had a wad of 50′s and 100′s in the bathroom. Knowing that my mom often didn’t have lunch money for me at school, I took it upon myself to take $50 from my father without asking.. For lunch… I was embarrassed to ask because I knew it would reflect poorly on Kim, who I held protectively.

My dad dropped me off at Lighthouse, and gave me a $50 bill and said it’s for me and whatever I need… I suspect he knew I took the first 50, and gave me the second knowing I was ashamed to have to steal from him. This event really stuck with me. I believe it eventually drove me out. The fact that I could not rely on my mother or Tae Yun Kim to provide me a meal.. But that I knew my dad could…

Like I started… perhaps I have it all wrong?  I think COLers are genuinely happy, until they’re not.. I don’t even think they could be diagnosed as depressed in COL, because of the high they exhibit.

Ignorance is bliss.

This is a series of Instant Messages over a 20 minute or so period. Everything is presented (sic) with spelling errors and all.

After I got over my anger about what happened, my mother leaving COL and Tae Yun Kim, and then going back, and the way she acted towards me.. I found resolve and put my focus on getting my mom out.

I knew I had to be honest and clear about my feelings with my mom. I knew that if I could bring back the feelings she had before she left the first time that she would again “see the light” and find her way out.

Mom: just wanted to thank you for coming up…it was great to see you
and it was great to be able to hold your son and spend time with him
Me: im glad u were able to
Mom: of course
Mom: Jacob, I’m feeling as though you’re purposely putting a barrier
between us…is there something wrong?
Me: Well, I’ll be honest, I don’t really want COL to be any
part of his life
Me: hello?
Mom: why is that?
Me: You kinow my opinions
Mom: it hurts…that’s all…basically you’re saying that you don’t
approve of my friends or my life and you don’t want him a part of
that…is that true?
Me: Ualready know I didn’t.  Remember I tried to help you get
the hell out of there, but u didn’t like the outside world
Me: Yes that is true
Me: Correction
Me: not your friends
Me: its Grandmaster
Me: don’t trusr
Mom: ok, thank you…I love you, Bye…Mom
Me: OK?  SO why are you saying bye? i thought this was a
discussion
Me: my thoughts on this topic should be no suprise.
Mom: it hurts, and I’m crying alot…I’m sorry, I love
you…goodnight
Me: AS you shared a good ammount of them before grandmaster
changed your mind for you right before you moved here
Me: ok.
Me: night
Mom: Grandmaster never changed my mind….I didn’t belong living with
you…I changed my own mind…and Grandmaster allowed me to come
back…you’ve totally misunderstood
Mom: And I’m really sorry…I love you very much…and as I said when
I left I still very much intended to be a part of your life and your son’s
too
Mom: it really, really hurts
Me:
Yes I intend YOU to be as well
Me: I want you to be
Mom: but you’re setting limitations and I personally don’t think
that’s fair…but of course you have every right to do whatever you
want with your son.
Mom: I’m leaving the office now, so I’ll talk to you some other
time…I’m hurting right now…and probably shouldn’t talk anymore.
Me: I’m not.
Me: (setting limits)
Mom: I Love you…I love you all
Me: us too… i love you mom… talk to you later.
Mom: yes…you’re saying that you don’t want him to be near anyone in
COL and especially Grandmaster…well that is my life and I’m
sorry…I’ve chosen that
Me: Ok, well I’m sorry you did.
Me: u know my thoughts and opinions about grandmaster.  she
is not someone I want having anything to do with my son
Mom: no one convinced me…I told you that before I even came down to
you…but when I was with you I really, really realized I wanted to
help you, but I definitely couldn’t live with you….I didn’t belong
in your life in that way.  My life is here

The email to my grandma starts abruptly, as it was a follow up from a prior phone conversation. This is the first time I ever spoke to anyone in my family besides my mother or wife about the Tae Yun Kim’s group.

This is part 1 of 3 of some “getting my mom out” emails.

Also, just wanted to brief you and grandpa on why my
mom moved out and everything.  She had been in
miserable in Grandmaster’s cult (COL for short) since
about june 2001.  In June 2002, she started sharing
this with me that she desperately wanted to leave and
it was a bad situation and she didn’t know what to do.
I was seeing a counselor through work at the time too
who I talked with this about, she even gave me numbers
of sspecialists in the field of families and cults.
Even one night in July when Shannin and I stopped by
to see her, my mom left and took us out so she could
talk to us for a few.  Well during those first few
minutes Grandmaster called her, asked if I was there,
asked her to stop the car and step out so she could
talk to my mom (on the phone).  My mom was out of the
car for over an hour, crying because of the things,
which I am not sure to this day, what she said to my
mom.  My distrus for Ms. Kim became a near hate at
this point. Well finally my mom got the balls in
November to finally call it quits.  When I was staying
in san jose for training she cam by a lot of nights
and we went on the interent together and tried to find
her a job and what not.  She was very excited and
scared.  It was difficult.  I can’t imagine starting
my life over at 19 let alone 44, but it was a good
decision.  It is a very rough atmosphere in COL, with
lots of discouragment, sleep deprevation and what not.
You feel like unless you have grandmasters blessing
you wont be able to live.  It wasn’t until recently I
was really able to get out there and talk about my
expiriences.
Anyway back on track.  Ms. Kim had a “special program”
with my mom for 2 days before she left to come here,
and a special dinner with her COL boyfriend 4 days
before.  Special program means sleep deprivation in
COL terms.  And all the suddenly when my mom moved in
with me she brought her boyfriend to help her.  I was
shocked, and so was shannin.  My mom told me on her
first night that grand master had made her realize the
only reason that she was leaving was that she had
unresolved issues with me and still thinks im 10,
which she didn’t have until that day, so for the 3
weeks she treated me like a 10 year old, and we didn’t
get along, and she had no ambition to even work
because she knew her job was waiting for her when she
got back.  And she couldn’t wait to get back.

This made me sad, all that work for nothing.  And last
night I told her how I felt again, very supportively
and she emailed me that she cried so much.  She knew
what my oppinions are but she gets so brainwashed all
she can think about is who she met this week who is
SOOO famous and how nice they are and how popular
Grandmaster is.

I just wanted to share with you some of the things
that have happened.  It makes me said, my mom is sooo
brainwashed, i don’t even know her anymore.

anyway
i love you guys and hope that someday my mom can get
out on her own.

Please keep these things confidential from her for
now.  The way grandmaster is, my mom will think I am
conspiring against Grandmaster.  She thinks Stan Durst
did that, when he was just trying to help his kid get
out.
love
jacob

We have over 150 daily unique viewers. So, it;s going strong. There is clearly a lot of people interested in this group, and I wanted to thank you for listening. It is therapeutic for me. We may have another contributor coming in the near future! Please checkout the comments on our facebook.

There was always an unsaid presence between my mother and I. (sometimes it was even verbal) That if I spoke negatively about Kim to her, that my mother would have no choice but to disown me. The 4 years that I was out, that preceded my mother leaving were very hard.

Being that my mother had to report in to Kim what she was up to, something always seemed to come up when we were hanging out. How dare my mother spend more than an hour with me on my birthday.

I actually never really thought negatively about Kimmie it started to become apparent the things that were happening behind my back:

• The COL kids (who were 16 and 18 respectively) were told when I was 16 that I lost my virginity and was going down a negative path.
• That my child was going to be a negative energy center, implications, maybe even directly saying that he was evil, to my mother and other COL members.
• Kimmie scolding my mother, in front on my grandmother..
• My mother was told how to handle me and my energy at our wedding; She was told to wear a hot pink dress to our wedding… Upstaging the bride, which we all know is a big no-no at weddings.
• I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my best friend or his sister. It was considered negative… It just wasn’t allowed.

These things were the last straw in me.  I had never really talked to anyone about Kim; Let alone negatively.

It wasn’t fair that despite trying to have a positive relationship with my mother that she was being steered to not. I started collecting my own opinion about Kimmie.  I did my own research. I knew who this woman was…  So I started planting seeds with my mom.

I realized that if I always made her happy, and never expressed my discontent with Kimmie that she wouldn’t ever get out.

When we went into COL only one person spoke up; My father. He even went to my grandparents, his ex-in-laws, and pleaded with them. My dad and his friend Dan were the only ones who spoke up. They told me what they thought, and it sat with my. My grandparents? They did like every successful cultmember’s parent do and sat by and watched… judged… had an opinion, but didn’t share it.

I guess what I am getting at here, as a message to the masses:

DON’T SIT BY WHILE YOUR CHILDREN, LOVED ONES, OR WHOEVER THEY ARE GET ABUSED. IF YOU THINK THEY ARE GETTING INVOLVED IN SOMETHING, SPEAK UP! TOO MANY KIDS AND FAMILIES ARE SUBJECTED TO THIS, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO ROCK THE BOAT. YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING! SPEAK UP! GROW A PAIR!

If this is all you glean from reading my blog, I feel successful in this venture. I sit here with PTSD from the events that happened in the cult, and that followed up, especially getting my mom out.  I am forever broken. However that doesn’t mean I can’t get better, and this is part of that healing process. Making sure the word about this woman, who destroys families, to this day… to this MINUTE, is out there… That way when people join COL, or even Jung SuWon, they know who this person really is, underneath all of that makeup and plastic surgery.

The one thing everyone leaves COL with is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder… PTSD

Ok…here’s the last leg of my journey away from TYK when I was finally able to leave.

Part 3 – The Last Straw

·Late March 2003 – at CDS (her skincare company)

Working on a Saturday on an education video for CDS. TYK had approved the usage of my mother as one of the people we would use for treatment during the education/training video. Three COL members were present (2 were instructors) as well as my mother. Throughout the hours of video taping and photo shooting, TYK would come in and out of her JSW office boasting how she was dealing with international business problems as she came and went. One of the instructors left at one point to run an errand for TYK. It was something I was supposed to do, but couldn’t leave the shooting, so he left to run the errand during the filming.

After he left, TYK came back to CDS and asked me if Before and After photos had been taken? I looked at the two COL people who were taking the photographs and video, hoping they would answer the question…but both were silent. TYK then proceeded to verbally whip me, berate, scold and demean me in front of my mother for approximately 30 minutes for not having made sure the photos were taken. The verbal abuse felt like it was endless. I sat quiet with my mother in front of me as I fought tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want my mother to see that this was affecting me at all. Over and over again, I was told, “how stupid I was”…”that we couldn’t do anything right without her standing right by our sides”….”I was useless”….etc. I read shock in my mother’s face and as she got up from the table to finally leave she looked at me and whispered that she wanted to see me tomorrow for dinner. I walked her out to her car and I assured her that everything was ok and I promised that I would come by for dinner tomorrow.

Up to this point my parents had never come around the dojang or my work place other than one testing within the first year I was there. My mother went home and told my father everything.

When the instructor returned from the errand, he took TYK home and then he returned to CDS in the evening. When he arrived back I was somber and didn’t want to speak. I’m sure he saw anger, shock and disappointment in my eyes and he started questioning me as to what was wrong. I told him it didn’t matter and that if I told him he wouldn’t believe me anyway. He walked me to a nearby restaurant to eat dinner and pleaded with me to talk. With strong conviction in my voice, I told him that he should ask TYK what happened as she knew exactly what she did. We walked back to CDS and I left for home much earlier than normal (near 9pm). I went straight to my room in the COL home to think through what I was going to say to my parents and how I was going to explain away this. How do I explain why my boss thought it was appropriate to yell at me with the intensity she did….and why was I putting up with it?

TYK suddenly entered the women’s COL home and yelled out my name, demanding that I come downstairs and talk to her. She sat in the living room with her personal doctor kneeled to one side of her and the instructor that I again reported and talked to on the other side. She asked me if anyone else was in the house. I answered no. I sat kneeled before her, looking down. I didn’t want to talk to her or look at her and my actions became very defiant towards her for the first time. She started yelling at me, saying that she had heard through the instructor that I felt that she had done something inappropriate when my mother was there. I went through the events as I experienced them, knowing that she would deny everything. And she did. She then continued to tell me I was a liar, a manipulator and more. At one point the COL person (CW) who had been taking photographs walked in the front door and TYK addressed her and asked her if she believed that she had endlessly, verbally disciplined me in front of my mother. CW started to agree that she had, but TYK interrupted her booming back, whether she really believed that. Suddenly CW back pedaled and down played it and said that actually we were all being disciplined and that it wasn’t anything out of the norm.

I told TYK that because of her actions, it had instigated my mother and father wanting to meet with me tomorrow and that my father had been told what transpired and that he was very angry and threatened to call the police and have them escort me out of here….so it was better if I just meet with them to settle the situation down.

The next evening, I met with my parents for dinner. It was the first time that I met with them uninterrupted by COL phone calls and pages requesting my presence. This was the first time I started openly discussing what was really going on, the control TYK had in my life and that this was the end, but that I may need their emotional and physical help as I had absolutely NOTHING to move forward with and TYK purposely designed it that way. My parents gave me their full support and told me that if I didn’t stay in constant contact with them and actually leave they WOULD be taking legal action.

I went back to TYK and told her that I had to leave. This was the end. No more good bye parties, no more sleepless nights talking, no more gifts….no more anything. I told her I was leaving the next day. She said again that she wanted the instructor to help me pack and use his car. I said NO, that I was doing it on my own and that I would rent a van. It took me a couple of days to make plans with my son to move down with him and get the van packed and then I left…..this time for good.

Before I left TYK requested that I come up and say goodbye before I left. The instructor was the only other person present. She briefly talked to me and then went back to her bedroom and came back with a full length faux fur coat as another gift. She then asked the instructor to give me a final hug and goodbye and then sent him to his bedroom. She continued to talk with me for a little while at her front door and then as I walked out across the circular driveway, she started to hysterically cry and wale. I didn’t turn back, I just got into my car and called the instructor to go downstairs and pull TYK back inside.

That was finally the end.

I’m by far not the only person who has stories to share that are similar and in some cases I know even far greater in disciplinary actions than this.

So I think it’s time for others to help in making others aware of the reality that still exists.

It hasn’t been easy, but we are happy to have her out, 9 years later.

Tae Yun Kim spoke as part of a lecture series with a few other teachers about love. I was one of only a couple of students who were with her. I ended up there because in the Summer of 1997 I was working San Francisco for Kim’s Pacific Exchange Options market making operation, Young Sa Trading. Scott and I headed over to Stanford. I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. We were basically just there as a contingent to stand up and cheer when she was done speaking in the lecture hall.

Tae Yun is a good speaker. Despite her thick accent, she engages you, and you leave with an action plan. Just like they teach you in ToastMasters.

What was weird happened after. Kim got really into one of the speakers. A Doctor of psychology and sex as I recall. She invited him to dinner, where we all attended. They went back and forth talking about sex the whole time. Until something that will haunt me until my final days. Kim explained that she believes to the have the secret of skin care. “Look at my face” she said. “No wrinkle, tight”… She explained that she believed the secret to be “Semen on the face”…  Ya.. so 14 year old me, sitting 2 chairs away from Kim is literally sitting in the middle of this conversation about rubbing cum all over ones face for good skin….

She also went on to explain the details of how she christened one her senior students sexually relationships, and the details of that. Including doing it in her office in Jung SuWon.

I can’t believe some of the crap I went through while around her. There was only about 4 or 5 of us COL members in attendance. One was the man who basically got us involved in COL. (mom’s ex’s brother) He would later joke with me and his wife that he was too old to produce, and joked that I should lend him some. Thought it was funny at the time. Pretty sick now, all things considered.

Continuing…

In an instance that happened within that same period of time, I had a friend with the nickname “ass face”… She was a girl, who was outspoken.. it was a jokey name. One day when getting off the phone with her I said “see you later ass face” or something to that affect. A COL member overheard me, and you could tell made a mental note of it. Within the next few days we were at COL1, Kim’s house before stargazer. I was just doing my own thing.. Nothing going on when suddenly Kim says “Do you like sodomy?” I realize she’s looking at me. I’m 14…  I don’t know this word?? What is sodomy? I told her, “isn’t that like embezzlement?” I didn’t know!  She explains it as being “sex in the butt”… Hmmm No can’t say that I have an opinion on that at age 14?

So apparently the student who heard me speak to “ass face” then decided to journal this… Which apparently meant I needed an anal sex intervention…  AT AGE 14!

Kim explained how dirty anal sex is, bad energy, and that we shouldn’t be friends anymore.  Despite that, ass face and I are still friends today

Read the He Can Do first read first

September 2002-January 2003

Near Aug/Sept 02 TYK moved me into Stargazer for several weeks, I’m sure it was her attempt to keep me closer and have more control over me and further re-condition me after my almost leaving. She called it a “Special Program”, where she spent more one-on-one time (private classes) with me talking and preparing me for how my son and daughter-in-law would hate me and that my son had the potential to become enraged and kill me. She saw this in her visions and was very “fearful” for me. I lived there from late August through Early October. A few days before Thanksgiving, her patters continued, nothing really did change and I told her that this time, I really did have to leave. Finally she allowed me to leave, with the precondition that I would go only to help them out on a short term basis and that I would return to my same position at CDS and training with her. I asked her for 6 months to help them prepare for the baby and help them find a home they could afford as the one they were in was in very poor living condition and they were having legal issues with the landlord. I told her I was concerned for their safety and needed to leave so that I could help them. TYK said that because of energy I had to return within 3 months. I had told my son, that I was leaving for good, but secretly had made this promise to her that I’d return. Emotionally I believed I was leaving for good, but through out October and November she spent days and nights keeping me up through out the night, having to return to work in the morning, preparing for everything that my son and daughter-in-law would do to me. She told me that she could tell by the photo she saw of my daughter-in-law that she was evil and that the child she was carrying (my grandson) was of the same evil energy and designed by Satan to pull me away from my purpose. Day after day, I waited for her to give me permission to leave, as she kept saying that the date wasn’t good and that I couldn’t only leave when the timing was right. She gave me a large COL sendoff party in SG, prepared gifts of clothes and jewelry, gave me a check of approximately $2300 which was for back pay that they hadn’t given me during a period of time I wasn’t paid, but she told me it was a bonus and gift for my mission and journey. She also had HC prepare a booklet of goodbye letters from everyone, so that I could stay connected and know how important I was to everyone.

Prior to this in early November my mom completely came out to me that she was ready to leave. We met and she used my computer to start looking for jobs, houses etc. At some point after this my mother mother probably felt guilty about these things and framed it to Kim that she needed to help us. We were dong just fine, we wanted her out. I believe that my mother had to justify it in her mind that she was helping us, as thats what she was conditioned to do, and that is how it was communicated to Kim. Thus my mom came from a point a weakness when approaching this with Tae Yun Kim.

Because she was so concerned for my safety, she begged me to stay connected by journaling to her every day and phoning in. If she wasn’t available I was still supposed to report into two instructors. She sent an instructor with me with his SUV full of my clothes and few belongings to their house. He then invited himself to spend the day with the three of us, finding a new apartment in the area. He drove us around all day until we found that two he gave his stamp of approval on (he privately told me that he felt those were the two the TYK would have energy approved). He went back to SG.

Energy approved, lol… More like these were the most expensive ones he felt like signing us up to pay the rent on.

I was incensed from the moment she showed up. F-ing Mark Amador, asshole of the earth shows up at my house with my mother. FUCK THAT! She canceled on us numerous times then shows up with this douche bag? Why did she have an escort? WTF happened to all of this work I did, helping her get out?  Why was he here?

What this meant when he showed up escorting my mom, I knew that this was a non starter. My mom had clearly left on Kim’s terms. Not her own!

10 days before Christmas I was having arguments with my son, as he started to realize that TYK and the instructor were contacting me through text messages and e-mail and I was also returning calls and e-mails. He was very disappointed in me and as the yelling matches escalated I started to believe everything that TYK had planted in my mind. After one of these yelling matches, I called TYK and told her I had to come back and that maybe she was right (I had only been gone 3 weeks). She told me that the instructor would come and help me move out. He arrived when neither my son nor daughter-in-law were home and moved my few belongings into his SUV. As we drove away from the apartment, he continued to contact TYK and took me to a nearby shopping mall to drop off my car. He asked me to hide my carsamidst the other parked cars and that the energy wasn’t right to return according to TYK, so we proceeded to spend the rest of the day having breakfast, lunch and dinner at restaurants in a date-like atmosphere as he held my hand through out the day, driving in his car. We drove from the length of the Central coast, stopping at beaches, walking in the thundering storm and rain; it had been the worst storm we had seen yet in the season. We stopped on a cliff and became completely drenched as he walked me through muddy fields to the very windy edge of a 100 ft. bluff overlooking the dangerous, pounding waves below; ignoring all weather advisories of staying away from cliffs due to the nature of the waves. It was almost as if he was trying to purposefully scare me and completely drain me. I had recently come down with a bronchitis type of illness and by the end of the day of getting completely soaked I was completely sick and drained.

After sunset, he finally got approval from TYK to drive back to her home. I was greeted at the women’s COL home by TYK and all of COL. She went through a blessing and informal welcoming ceremony. She then asked everyone, one by one, to tell me how they felt to see me back and discuss how I looked. I heard everything from my energy looked very bad, I looked old, I looked like my daughter-in-law, I had obviously disconnected and more. When in actuality I was very sick, soaking wet, completely drained and very stressed by all of the events. Before I had left my son’s home, I had made Christmas cookies with my daughter-in-law per her request to do that together. I brought some back with me for the COL group. TYK immediately instructed someone to throw them all away.

Apparently looking like my wife, who was 21, made her look old. I also told her that they would make her throw them away!

Then COL was dismissed and she escorted me to my own private room in the home where I had no room mate for the first time ever. They had redecorated it in BRIGHT oranges, purples, yellows and blues. The room also had a water fountain running, TYK music playing and photos of TYK all over the wall. Then GM instructed me that I wasn’t to leave this room, other than to go to the bathroom or get water to drink and that I was to talk to no one (Silent Program). I wasn’t to answer my cell phone and have no communication with anyone except for TYK. I could call TYK at anytime and SAK and EAS would come each day and video and photograph my process. I was not allowed to see a doctor the entire time for my bronchitis/pneumonia. After several days, EAS did bring me some OTC cough medicine, but nothing else. I was told to do 100 rebirths every day and night, read her Silent Master book and the Bible and write down my thoughts. Journal every day through out the day and write about the whole experience. If I needed anything else, I was supposed to page EAS with a special code on her pager. Broth and later soup was delivered to me every day and that is all I was suppose to eat except for water.

My phone continued to ring every day and v/mails were left, but I wasn’t allowed to retrieve them and I knew that my son and parents were trying to reach me by the Phone IDs that I could see. After about a week, I begged TYK to allow me to call both my parents and son to arrange Christmas Eve plans with them and just let them know that I was ok. She told me that she didn’t want me to go over there for Christmas, that it wouldn’t be good for me. But finally she allowed me to call them and make arrangements to go over my parent’s home for Christmas Eve and call my son to assure him I was ok. She gave me very explicit instructions of what I couldn’t do when I went there. I could only stay a few hours. I couldn’t hug anyone or eat anything. I explained my behavior to my family, telling them that I had been very sick and that I didn’t want to get anyone else sick. It was very unlike me to be physically distant with them.

It sure wasn’t me calling her everyday; I think I called her once; My wife and I were incensed. She put us through a lot of stress, especially my wife who was in her last weeks over a very rough pregnancy. We felt betrayed that she had been communicating with Kim, and had moved out with us on terms with Kim; As she put it with me one night, she was only there “on a special program”. I felt betrayed because of how much I cared for her, and how much time I had invested with her in “Just leaving”.  We just wanted her to get out of COL.  I advised her it wasn’t a good idea to communicate with Kim.  My mother even agreed that she didn’t owe Kim anything.

At Christmas, I told my mother not to bother coming back to move in with us when she became right of mind, I told her she was going to need to talk to her mom. She also begged me for money, because she had none due to Kim’s “special program” she was on. This is the kind of person Kim had pushed her to. I had no money and she had signed us up for a large rent that we were going to have to shoulder on our own.

When I returned to the COL home, I checked in with TYK as I was supposed to, she continued me on this same program until approximately January 10th, when she ceremoniously gave me my job back. Though I wasn’t given a paycheck for more than a month. I promised TYK I was back for good and that I couldn’t go through this again and that I had learned my lesson.

January 11, 2003 – my son called me late in the afternoon to let me know that their son, (my grandson) was born. I called TYK to get permission to drive to see the baby. She allowed me to go only with the instructor as an escort. No one in my family except for my son had ever met him, so it was a very awkward situation to suddenly appear as if I had a boyfriend or something. I was instructed that I could not touch or hold the baby. My son recognized my awkward behavior stemming from TYK and ignored it. Our visit was very short. I never saw my grandson again until I moved out in late March, once and for good….(Part 3 to share that last leg of my journey out of COL).

I didn’t care that she was there. The only reason I even allowed Mark Amador in there with her is that I knew I wanted her to see her grandchild.

TYK can deny and deny that she interferes with her student’s family lives, but you judge for yourself. None of this is made up…I wish it was.

The only reason I’m sharing these experiences is for the awareness of others and to substantiate what others have wondered about and to hopefully thwart any of this repeating itself in the future.

This week we learned that my nephew, who hasn’t even reached his 26th birthday was diagnosed with Lymphoma and will immediately be undergoing 6 months of chemo treatments. I’m telling this not for sympathy, but just to remember that when we’re discussing all of these very serious things that have happened to us, to keep focused on what is important.

The ticket to life has a limit on it…don’t waste what you have left on your ticket.

My mom wrote this in 2007, my 28 year old cousin passed away in 2009. He is missed. 

My mother wasn’t out at this point yet. Part 3 soon.